Ain't no rest for the wicked
Забавные определения.
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INTERESTING DEFINITIONS
School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.
Love Affairs:
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you.
________________________________________
INTERESTING DEFINITIONS
School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.
Love Affairs:
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you.
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09.01.2007 в 10:23-
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09.01.2007 в 10:36ты смотрел Mai Hime? Там есть замечательный киборг - просто сестричка для Треса.
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09.01.2007 в 10:38нет, не смотрел.. Но про мозги - это меткое высказываение очень точно характеризует мое состояние.
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09.01.2007 в 10:57загрузка центрального процессора 5%. Вообще ничего не работает.
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09.01.2007 в 11:05иэх....
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09.01.2007 в 11:23-
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09.01.2007 в 11:32симпатичная, такую не стыдно в сестрах иметь.
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09.01.2007 в 11:42-
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09.01.2007 в 11:44просматриваются семейные черты )))))
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09.01.2007 в 11:49-
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09.01.2007 в 11:51мне нравится твой фанарт, так что жду ))))))))))
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09.01.2007 в 11:53-
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09.01.2007 в 13:16А-а-а, про босса этож про моего!!!!!!!! (тихонечко ржет под столом)
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09.01.2007 в 13:38рад был тебя видеть.Надо бы почаще.
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09.01.2007 в 13:43специально для тебя украдено с чужого дневника.
Надеюсь там меня простят.
Но это нельзя не запостить еще раз.
смотри.
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09.01.2007 в 14:41И я рад! жаль, что вы поздновато приехали
"Какие для меня даже на воровство пойдет!" (смахивает слезы умиления с глаз). Еще раз спасибо! Давно уже Вила не видел.
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09.01.2007 в 14:56(пойду сейчас 2 часа сидеть на ресепшн.НЕНАВИЖУ это)
вот.
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09.01.2007 в 15:06-
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09.01.2007 в 15:37courier request,
etc.